This celebration somehow gets me down

12 OCT 2019

跑步到天文台 躺在草坪上
天空里有 一颗满月 和 前不久学会认的夏秋三角
我就这样望着天空 望着天空 秋天下过雨的草地还潮湿着 
困惑为什么 跋涉的人们不能一起坐在森林里讲关于每片树叶的诚实的故事和捡起那些像松果一样下落不明的误会 
不能问一问那些不说话的人为何疲惫 点起篝火之后 为什么不能交换一些和这木桩一样真实的心情和秘密 却跳着言不由衷的舞步 直到这森林消失在迷雾里 
我总是困惑 因为我不知道要怎么保存秋天 保存月光明亮的夜晚 和 保存一片漆黑深邃的海 
也因为我仅仅知道怎么保存秋天 保存月亮 和 海浪
我总是困惑 因为想知道旅行的人从哪里来 可直到走 也都不说
我总是困惑啊 我困惑是因为我好像知道 
刨土的人埋过尸体 后来就不愿再去森林
秋天点起森林的火 这狂欢让我莫名地沮丧

I run to the observatory and lie on the grasses
There is a full moon in the sky, and the summer triangle that I learned not long ago
I stare at the sky, I stare at the sky, with the feeling of the moist from ground after an Autumn rain
I am often confused
It confuses me that, when they gather in the forest and start the campfire, the travelers cannot offer honest stories of every leaf and pick up the pine cone of trackless misunderstandings;
that no one is curious about the tiredness from the silent ones; 
that people prefer to dance with mis-aligned steps rather than exchanging some secrets as real as these stumps, till the forest fades into fog
I am often confused because I don't know how to save an Autumn, save an evening filled with bright moonlight, and a piece of sea with unceasingly deepened darkness
It also because I might only know how to save an Autumn, a moon and the waves
I am often confused because I wondered where did the travelers come from but they wouldn't let me know, not even when they left
 I am often confused, and I am confused because of something I already known
The person who dug the hole with dirts on hands,  buried the corpse and no longer want to be in the forest anymore
The autumn sets the forest on fire, this celebration somehow gets me down