Hongfei Li - This celebration somehow gets me down

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This celebration somehow gets me down

这狂欢让我莫名地沮丧

12 OCT 2019

跑步到天文台躺在草坪上

天空里有一颗满月和前不久学会认的夏秋三角

我就这样望着天空望着天空秋天下过雨的草地还潮湿着

我总是困惑

困惑为什么跋涉的人们不能一起坐在森林里讲关于每片树叶的诚实的故事和捡起那些像松果一样下落不明的误会

不能问一问那些不说话的人为何疲惫点起篝火之后为什么不能交换一些和这木桩一样真实的心情和秘密却跳着言不由衷的舞步直到这森林消失在迷雾里

我总是困惑因为我不知道要怎么保存秋天保存月光明亮的夜晚和保存一片漆黑深邃的海

也因为我仅仅知道怎么保存秋天保存月亮和海浪

我总是困惑因为想知道旅行的人从哪里来可直到走也都不说

我总是困惑啊我困惑是因为我好像知道

刨土的人埋过尸体后来就不愿再去森林

秋天点起森林的火这狂欢让我莫名地沮丧

I run to the observatory and lie on the grasses

There is a full moon in the sky, and the summer triangle that I learned not long ago

I stare at the sky, I stare at the sky, with the feeling of the moist from ground after an Autumn rain

I am often confused

It confuses me that, when they gather in the forest and start the campfire, the travelers cannot offer honest stories of every leaf and pick up the pine cone of trackless misunderstandings；

that no one is curious about the tiredness from the silent ones;

that people prefer to dance with mis-aligned steps rather than exchanging some secrets as real as these stumps, till the forest fades into fog

I am often confused because I don't know how to save an Autumn, save an evening filled with bright moonlight, and a piece of sea with unceasingly deepened darkness

It also because I might only know how to save an Autumn, a moon and the waves

I am often confused because I wondered where did the travelers come from but they wouldn't let me know, not even when they left

I am often confused, and I am confused because of something I already known

The person who dug the hole with dirts on hands, buried the corpse and no longer want to be in the forest anymore

The autumn sets the forest on fire, this celebration somehow gets me down

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